Moon phase is Waning Crescent, and at 3.5 percent this very hour.  The Old Moon  quickly moves into the New Moon in less than twenty hours.   Symbolism attributed to this moon phase is a time of subconscious enlightenment giving way to conscious awakening of values.  Indeed, an event for me this morning, so ripe with meaning.  The waning crescent moon is about to seemingly disappear, when it is directly between the Earth and the Sun, hidden and obscured.

And I have felt obscuring in my life, without routine and wandering without confidence.   Where is my mothers skirt to cling to as I did when a child of the world?  We are all thrown out into the water at least once in life to test our instincts, and to strengthen that innate mechanism of survival.  I’ve been thrown into the water, and I have been lashing about for weeks and weeks,  lacking trust of my buoyant  inner self.

I crave to feel the presence of my  strong intuition,  and let my life develop here forward in a more fluid state, stroking instead of splashing, trusting instead of panicking over what is perpetually lost.

From here I stride away from the recent difficult experience …

and (hopefully) toward positiveness & creativity.

We have found a place to rent and moved in our few things we took with us.  Life has a new routine now in a place that is merely transitory.  This is something I have to find the courage to live inside of ~~ a temporary place.

Rafter beam with nails Jeff and I hammered in 2001

I long to be in our house. I break down frequently, and become hopelessly frustrated in doing the basic things, feeling like I am groping in the dark to find my way around, having to relearn every small movement through the disorder and difference.  But each day I am becoming a little more resigned to it.

Dying fir needles from the unburned tree crowns fall like snow everywhere, an eerie beautiful gold in the woods

There are brief moments when I feel that metaphorical sun streaming through a window of my creativity, and I contemplate how I might continue to be artful in this transition. That itself is the key ~~ being creative without roots in a place.

trail working tool remains

My trail-walking, even knitting, has been put away for a time. One of the things I took in my escape, was a tote full of yarn & mostly all my needles, knowing I might be displaced for a few weeks, and I could cheerfully keep on designing.

trail work as last left on my Knitting  Trail, and Autumn leaves keep falling over the blackened earth

But the heaviness took hold and the cheerfulness did not last.  It was perhaps still numbness that day I cast on for something that is forthcoming, but only about half the stitches before putting it down, and soon after I learned our house burned to ashes.

what is left of a carbon fiber and aluminum mountain bike

So I will not knit for a while. But I crave to blend fibers and spin, and there are a couple of very generous women locally who are setting me up with both a wheel and fiber ~~ bless them ~~ I should be spinning by this weekend.

wiped away charcoal sill plate where doorway was, to see Jeff’s & my initials written in the concrete, from when we finished foundation in the year 2000.

And thank you so very much dear friends on my knitting forum who have offered their time and welcoming warmth helping knitters with their questions.

burned outline of a bench on my knitting trail.

Deep gratitude to All of You who have bought my patterns, it was quite an overwhelming response to my previous post , and I can not thank you enough.  The selling of my patterns to knitters of the world is enabling me make a priority to swiftly ‘set up shop’ , and in gratitude I am doing so, longing to refine & post in Tweed Chronicles again, as well as All Things Forthcoming with designing.

I will be back soon, hopefully with something creative and artful of my temporary place, and find resilience through the kindness of my lovely friends local & global, and of beautiful generous strangers.  Thank you again & again,  xxJen