I have a calculating memory, and I discovered today is very special. Counting back as many days before the wildfire [insert 2 years away from original home, then 2 years back in rebuilt home] and it is now passed the anniversary of the wildfire, plus seventeen days …mirror reversed, lands me on the Autumn equinox 2017. Well, how apropos, because on the equinox four years ago I was finishing up my knitting trail, remember A rustic place ? Today, in a calm peaceful hopeful mood, and with determination, I am bracing myself and imagining starting the knitting trail over again. It has burned, dead & dying trees fallen everywhere, soot and little pockets of ash even still in some places, and the loggers tore into it and left big open spaces, and snipped off all the really old tall firs on the lower leg of the trail too. Gone. Since then there has been Jurassic regrowth of bizarre tall weeds and thorny shrubs taking over, not to mention thousands upon thousands of baby madrones, pines, and occasional fir saplings too, amongst a surprising number of big firs still standing.
It matters not when I will complete the knitting trail rebuild, but this mirror-reversed time in my life is so very healing, going back into the woods and feeling now the time passed is longer back home than was away from home, and every day now that passes heals it a little more, and I really feel it now. Something in the timeline of the inner memory is willing it seems, to start forgetting the sad and the bad times.
So, in a bit of a celebratory fashion, with Juno running wild as she will, I am soon to be taking the tools of the trail-building trade back down to start all over again, among tens of thousands of madrone trees growing fast, completely carpeted the old trail. Um, that is, as soon as it dries up a little from the torrential rain we’ve been having, and loving every drop.Today I am facing forward, and feeling a bit giddy too!