I’ve been for weeks swimming in a sea of calculations, recalculations, and stifling self-doubt, but then there are occasional delightful bursts of confidence like rays of sun after the rain ~~ and all the while I am knitting like a mad woman. Often I fall asleep anxious and mired down in a problem, but wake with clarity and the vision of how to proceed. What keeps me from drowning I wonder, and I think it’s sheer dogged determination to finally Get It . Also I am learning to be kind to myself , to be patient in a slower pace and satisfied with one small accomplishment at a time. Most important is to check my ego at the door as I try to accept that mistakes are a part of the process, and not to let others’ opinions cripple me or cloud my way.
I don’t have a fancy knitwear design program as many designers use nowadays, and honestly I don’t even know what they can do. I do know that a lot of designers hire out tech editors, at the very least. As I ponder the modern world of indie knitwear design, I am left guessing at every turn. I want to simplify it, minimize expense, and go at it the ‘old-fashioned’ way, where I wear all the hats so to speak, and then when I offer tech support on one of my patterns, I am able to communicate with a knitter one-on-one with confidence of knowing every corner of the design and how to figure the problems when asked. That makes me really feel good about it all.
There is so much involved in getting a pattern off the ground. Conception of idea , and then the ability to put concept into a map. To stretch the size run as far as I personally feel is reasonable for the design and then get the math fitting exact for all sizes (I did in fact, have a horrible & traumatic time with mathematics in school, so this is a very interesting twist of fate that I would learn to depend on it). Lastly and almost least I must have the time and the ability to knit up however many prototypes I want involved (this one at present will be at least two, possibly three I’ll be knitting!) then there’s the photographing, pattern writing, schematic hand-drawing, charts made, creating the pdf, and submitting on to Ravelry with all the linking in the world so that all roads lead to Rome with the Ravelry data.
Its crazy, and the more I immerse myself in this madness the more I am dang proud of myself for following through on it. There are no deadlines, and I am relying only on myself, and I must say, even though my worrisome pains are at times exasperating, I love what I’m doing.